>Subject: Monkey in the bar 

>A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

>He orders a drink and while he's drinking,

>the monkey jumps all around the place. The

>monkey grabs some olives off the bar and

>eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes

>and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool

>table and grabs one of the billiard balls.

>To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in

>his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.

>The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you

>see what your monkey just did?"

>"No, what?"

>"He just ate the cue ball off my pool

>table... whole!"

>"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied

>the guy, "he eats everything in sight.

>Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

>The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill,

>pays for the stuff the monkey ate and

>leaves.

>Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again,

>and has his monkey with him. He orders a

>drink and the monkey starts running around

>the bar again. While the man is finishing

>his drink, the

>monkey finds a maraschino

>cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it

>up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

>Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again

>sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and

>eats it.

>The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see

>what your monkey did now?"

>"No, what?" replied the man.

>"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a

>peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and

>ate them!" said the bartender.

>"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied

>the guy. "He still eats everything in

>sight, but ever since he had to pass that

>cue ball, he measures everything first.